this one goes out to the gurl who USED to be my friend. I hate you! truely i do, i was such a good friend to you. bought you everything you wanted, super nice, never mean, and what did you do? FUCKED ME OVER! ha, yeah, your always going to be a bitch in my book. For real yo, I gave you so many fucking chances and you still fuck me over. Give me my SHIT AND GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY LIFE FOR GOOD! thanks. have a nice day!
This one goes out to my Skye, I know you will never see this, but i am worried about you... You are the greatest ever... He treats you sooo bad, i know what you are going through... and i know what the end result is... HURT... that is all you are sticking around for... you may think he loves you, and i'm sure he does.... but if he truly loved you he wouldn't treat you this way, if he loved you he wouldn't make you cry... I wish you could just see what everyone else sees, your eyes are blurred by this fascination of love and lust, the fact that he was your first and all of that... So many people have been there, yet you wont see that... So many people have died for it... been killed from beatings from their "True Love". I am so scared for you... I am scared because of what i have heard from you.... I am truly frightened, but when i tell you this, you feel as if i am prying, and trying to make you get rid of him, and invading your private love life... That is NOT what i am doing... i have been there, and you know that.... I am scared, i know it is hard, but i know you are strong, i know you.... I know once you open your eyes... and you see what is going on that you will persivere, but i don't know when that will happen, and I don't know what will happen, i don't know the future, but i do know the present and the past, and i have seen it SO many times...I know you will never come to this page... I don't even think you know of it... but please, if you do... just look at this.... http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Abuse/breakfree/ch1.html I know you don't think anything is wrong, NO. I know you do know that it is going on... but you don't know what could happen if you continue down this path..... its a scarry ending Skye.... Please, for yourself........ I love you..
19 August 2002
I have been sitting here wondering why I let him take me for this rollercoaster ride. I want off!! I am getting emotionally and mentally ill. It's tearing at me. I have been holding myself back from going to that razor blade again. But everytime I think of a way to relieve myself from all this hurt and pain I look back to the razor. It was my best friend for the longest time. It made the mental problems go away with each cut and each drop of blood. It made the pain go from my heart, to my bleeding wound.
It is my life goal and dream to be a writer. Either a Free Lanse Journalist... or my true dream of a novelist. I guess writing has always just been easy for me.... So Hopefuly writing in this page will one day make that dream come true!!!~