19 August 2002
I have been sitting here wondering why I let him take me for this rollercoaster ride. I want off!! I am getting emotionally and mentally ill. It's tearing at me. I have been holding myself back from going to that razor blade again. But everytime I think of a way to relieve myself from all this hurt and pain I look back to the razor. It was my best friend for the longest time. It made the mental problems go away with each cut and each drop of blood. It made the pain go from my heart, to my bleeding wound.
It is my life goal and dream to be a writer. Either a Free Lanse Journalist... or my true dream of a novelist. I guess writing has always just been easy for me.... So Hopefuly writing in this page will one day make that dream come true!!!~